Reason #8

Guest post by Jason Kerzer, PCOM's Nutrition in Medicine Club President.  Thanks Jason!

Pizza executive #1: “Hey #2, did you hear congress wants school kids to eat more vegetables?”

Pizza executive #2: “Yeah that’s going to be a problem for us.”

#1: “If only there was some way we could convince congress that spawning a generation of blubber children is good for the economy and will create jobs.”

#2: “Uh, #1, you’re an idiot. That would take too much effort on our part.”

#1: “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe if we made pizza out of corn, the government would have no choice but to endorse it.”

#2: “If we did that, there might not be enough corn for the cows.”

#1: “Cows sure do love corn.”

#2: “Indeed. Perhaps there might be some way to show them the pizza power?"

#1: “Pizza Party Politica 2011?”

#2: “I was thinking more along the lines of deceit.”

#1: “Ah yes, of course. Wait, I don’t understand.”

#2: “Of course you don’t, you worthless dipstick. If we can somehow make congress believe eating pizza has the same effect as eating a veggie, we could make this work.”

#1: “Does pizza have that thing in it that helps you go to the bathroom?”

#2: “You mean fiber?”

#1: “Is that what they call it these days? Yeah does it have any of that? Can we say it has that?”

#2: “No. But what we can do is tell them it already has a vegetable in it. Are you thinking what I’m thinking, #1?”

#1: “I don’t think they are going to fall for being told cheese grows in the ground, but it’s worth a try.”

#2: “The tomato paste, you pizza putz!”

#1: “LOLZ, that’s not a vegetable.”

#2: “Congress is not nearly as intelligent as you, #1. Maybe we can pull this off.”